My congratulations to John Smylie who has won the Bishop’s election in Wyoming! For awhile our paths ran parallel in this race, but now they diverge. The road before me beckons to explore where “losing” will lead me.
I have actually been on this road, or one similar, many times before. I know that each “losing” is also a gain…but knowing is not the same as having to go through the experience again. Like coming to terms with death (the most radical of losses), this journey has some familiar landmarks which must be passed. For example, even though I knew I might find myself here when I began, there is no shortcut or bypass for mourning. I held a 36 hour vigil for this dead dream (actually a surprisingly short time for me!) and leave it now by the roadside with no regrets. I will most likely have to circle around and revisit this place, but I have done that before too and know it gets easier….
For now, I seem to be at that cross roads in the desert where many possibilities shimmer in the distance but none seem immediately accessible or urgent. There are loose ends to tie up, but time enough to tackle them and some that simply will remain undone. There is a freedom in losing which I will enjoy for a little while, until the next challenge presents itself. I will not go looking for it just yet. I will wait and watch for signs in this wilderness, comforted by the certainty that no matter what direction I am called to take, if it is Christ who calls, that road will be the Way.
Hope you will keep blogging as you journey. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThe wilderness can be a good place for resting and prayer. Answers come to us while visiting these lonely places. Thanks for sharing...
ReplyDeleteOh, Margaret, you were and are in my prayers. You sound as though you have gracefully navigated the waters. Keep looking at all that shimmers.
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