Wondering What's Next

My congratulations to John Smylie who has won the Bishop’s election in Wyoming! For awhile our paths ran parallel in this race, but now they diverge. The road before me beckons to explore where “losing” will lead me.

I have actually been on this road, or one similar, many times before. I know that each “losing” is also a gain…but knowing is not the same as having to go through the experience again. Like coming to terms with death (the most radical of losses), this journey has some familiar landmarks which must be passed.  For example, even though I knew I might find myself here when I began, there is no shortcut or bypass for mourning. I held a 36 hour vigil for this dead dream (actually a surprisingly short time for me!) and leave it now by the roadside with no regrets. I will most likely have to circle around and revisit this place, but I have done that before too and know it gets easier….

For now, I seem to be at that cross roads in the desert where many possibilities shimmer in the distance but none seem immediately accessible or urgent. There are loose ends to tie up, but time enough to tackle them and some that simply will remain undone. There is a freedom in losing which I will enjoy for a little while, until the next challenge presents itself. I will not go looking for it just yet.  I will wait and watch for signs in this wilderness, comforted by the certainty that no matter what direction I am called to take, if it is Christ who calls, that road will be the Way.

Wondering how to bottle hope and joy.....

In the midst of a tense two week period (after the Walk About and waiting for the Electing Convention), what a gift this last week-end has been! There was the ordination at St. Stephen’s, Casper on Saturday of two transitional deacons, Kay Flores and Tristan English. And then on Sunday, I was at Holy Trinity, Thermopolis to celebrate and preach, and generally be entertained by this energetic, multi-generational church which is in the midst of a process to call their local priests. What joy to see two congregations, which have slogged through their share of depression and pessimism, growing in confidence and a vitality which shows no signs of lagging! What a joy to share their journeys…..
If only I could bottle such a feeling to share with the churches which are presently struggling. It’s so hard, when the faithful core of a congregation see members slip away, when they have crises in leadership or don’t know how to pay the bills. We look for a quick fix because we need a quick fix! It feels sometimes like such churches are runaway stagecoaches…and, the truth is that there is no way to quickly turn around a stagecoach that has been running downhill, careening wildly out of control.  The first step is to get it stopped and insure the safety of the passengers. The second step is to assess the damage and get rid of extraneous baggage to lighten the load. Then finally, the laborious task of pushing the coach up the hill and getting it going on a healthy road can be accomplished.
We know this can happen with help from friends and neighbors. We may even suspect that God’s hand is in this precarious ride and that it will lead to new and better roads which help us on our Christian journey. But the gap between the bottom of the steep hill and the level road at the top is so great that often those at the bottom need a tonic, a stiff shot of hope, to help them get motivated. I wonder-how can we bottle such hope? How can the joy of congregations who have indeed found a healthy and vital way forward be shared with brothers and sisters in need?
Maybe one way to do this is to create a venue where congregations share where they are on their Christian journey-both the smooth roads and the difficult times. We have Mutual Ministry Reviews for individual churches, where what is going well and what is not are both looked at carefully, and from which much is learned. Could we do something like that on a regional level, maybe in the Apostolic Teams? It seems to me that somehow, on a yearly basis at least, the sharing of peaks and valleys that all congregations face might be just what we need to inspire hope and compassion between us. It may also be a good place to critique diocesan leadership whose ministry is to help all our churches on their journeys. When seen in the context of the whole region, such diocesan ministry may make more sense or, if not, adjustments may become evident. Something to think about….
But in any event, thanks to St. Stephen’s and Holy Trinity for the tonic of hope and joy they provided for me this week-end. I know that many others are inspired by their success as well.

Wondering on the Walk About-Last Day!!!!

One last day on the bus, looking forward to visits with 4 congregations in the eastern part of the diocese. We are now done with all the longer stops and won’t have a chance to share many more stories. I find, however, that I have not found the venue to share one of my favorites, except with Sally Boyd, the local priest in Wright where this happened. So I think this is worth sharing with a wider group on this blog.
This last Christmas, I was invited to celebrate and preach the Christmas Eve service at St. Francis, in Wright. Sally was taking advantage of a well deserved opportunity to be with her gathered family on vacation. The small group of dedicated Episcopalians got organized, planned the service and then advertized it throughout their community, but no one knew if we would have more than a handful of participants. People in Wright, it seems, often are gone on the holiday visiting family and taking advantage of school being out.
When Chuck, Warren Frelund (the Region II Ministry Developer) and I arrived there were only three people at the church, but the coffee hour table was laden with goodies and we recruited a youngster who had great enthusiasm to acolyte. As we began our preparations, the church began to fill up. As I got instruction on blessing the Christmas candle in the Advent wreath, I counted upward of 20 people and thought, “This is really important. I’m so glad we could be here!” And the service went beautifully, with all the people singing out the old Christmas carols, a beautiful solo at the offering, and our faithful acolyte keeping an eye on me from several pews where he was enjoying different company. I noticed at one point he joined a gentleman sitting alone in a pew and wondered briefly about a single man in a church filled with family groupings.
At the end of the service, that single man came over to shake my hand and confided in me how deeply he had needed to be in church and hear the message of God’s love this Christmas Eve. His son had been killed just 6 weeks earlier as he was serving a third deployment in Iraq. His wife could not yet bring herself to leave the house, but he promised to take the words of hope he had heard that night home to her.
I cannot tell you how deeply this man’s story touched my soul. As a mother who has endured the long terrible wait for a child to return from war, my heart broke for this couple who would not know the joy of their son’s homecoming. I gave thanks again and again for the faithfulness of the little church in Wright who had incarnated in their community the gift of Jesus, reaching out to their neighbors with welcome and the message of God’s new life in our midst. And I thought then, as I know now, that this is why it is so important to support all our congregations, no matter how big or small. I am not wondering at all about the importance of the ministry of congregations like St. Francis. I only wonder how we can continue to empower them to follow what is so obviously God’s call.